God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Bring me that man meat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
