Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
