found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.