I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
