I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in