Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.