Please, let me fuck your mom
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
