I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
