UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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