I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's never too late to be topless.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
