god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
