ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
