Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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