Soap is not a condiment
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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