I cockslap morals
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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