dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
