I don't usually arrange sex via text message
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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