Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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