Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize