Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
