i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
