At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
