You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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