had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
