just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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