Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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