Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
