Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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