In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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