Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
