yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
