just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
