do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
