i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
