I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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