Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize