So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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