Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
