Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
