We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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