there's paper in my vomit.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
this boner is exhausting
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
