Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize