I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
