i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
