i don't like sucking hair
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
