Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
