Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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