Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
