So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
