yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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