I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
