its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
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Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
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Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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