Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
