the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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