wakey wakey hands off snakey
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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