I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
