Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
