Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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