Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
