K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
