He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
