my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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